When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. Get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love. For your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not. Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.įocus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.ĥ. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.įocus only on what you love. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had: Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. Is utter and complete selflessness the goal? The advice in this article can be applied to both genders. One common idea reverberated among many of the healthy responses: If we make the conscious decision to daily place our spouse’s desires and needs above our own, and that’s reciprocated, the marriage will succeed. The unity and compassion among people which this article brought forth was a beautiful experience to witness. A man in Germany responded with some of the deepest insights I’ve read in years. Men in USA and Singapore spoke healing words to men in Europe and India. We read letters from women in Malaysia comforting women in England. Helped and encouraged thousands, infuriated few. Gerald Rogers’ article stirred a wide variety of feelings among people across the globe. My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers. See details below.Ī note from James Russell Lingerfelt: Mr.
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